Tickle Me Elmo Xtreme Edition: Cybernetically Enhanced Giggles

Elmo was 10. That's like 90 muppet years. His sensors were failing. He ran through batteries four times a day. His once hearty laugh was little more than a half-hearted chuckle. Fisher Price had the technology. So after 18 months of advanced surgery and rehabilitation, they cybernetically retooled Elmo into the most Ticklish Muppet Ever. And just in time for Christmas.

Read on to discover the three stages of coochie coochie coo.

Tickle Me Elmo Extreme edition went on sale yesterday and the little hairy beast is already on ebay for 2-10 times its $40 MSRP. The upgraded AI and robotics give Elmo T.M.X. the technology to laugh harder, faster, better. Tickle sensors reside on the foot, side, and chin. The Three Stages of Extreme Tickling are...

Tickle #1: Elmo laughs, slaps his knee twice, falls down, and stands back up.

Tickle #2: Elmo repeats step one, sits down again and falls backwards onto his back and starts kicking his feet while laughing even harder.

Tickle #3: Repeats steps 1 and 2, then rolls over onto his tummy where he starts hitting the floor with his fists, stands back up again, and takes a deep sigh.

Pray to god that your nephew does NOT want one of these soon to be $600 dollar toys.–Brian Lam

Top-secret Elmo revealed! [CNN]